I’ve been back on olanzapine for six nights now… I’ve slept now.
Only now I hate myself – total and utter failure for not managing on my own. I thought I could do it without meds – it’s just life on hard mode after all – but I couldn’t. So now my brain is running fast, but my fingers are running slow and I’ve had to type this out a few times to make sense and so many spelling mistakes.
Still, I feel a bit more functional. Got more drawing done.
Only now I hate myself – and the voices are making it worse, they’re not gone yet, not even quieter – there’s always this chip in my heart… Do I see a doctor? Apparently I have to go back in a week to check I’m sane again – maybe ask about surgery then.
I need to talk to Alex more.