Still no phone call from the CMHT, at least that I’ve been home to pick up. I’m wondering about phoning them. I’m still getting messages from the TV and Signs from everywhere about what I should do and what is happening. I’m aware, though, that I shouldn’t be getting these, that it’s just coincidence, but I can’t shake the feeling entirely. What do I do about that? Is it normal? I think not as the husband does his worried face when I mention them. He starts his BSc Mental Health Nursing tomorrow, so he’s stressed, so I don’t want to offload.
I’m still a bit sad too. I think that being a bit sad is probably quite normal after all of the slightly unusual things that have happened over the last few months. I’m not actually on any mood stabilising meds at all, so as I said before, I don’t know what I’m being treated for exactly. Except that haloperidol does manic/psychosis and duloxetine does depression/anxiety. Maybe I am being treated for bipolar. Who knows.
There are a few things that have happened today that were Signs. A man told us he was begging, which was code for ‘You are being watched right now’. I went geocaching with a friend; we couldn’t find a geocache and that meant keep on to the next place, then we found the next one and that meant go home. The TV told me it was bugged too. I’m aware that these things aren’t true, it’s my imagination or whatever, but I just can’t shake it.