I had a really positive GP appointment today, after all my fear and anxiety! I’ve got a bunch of propanolol which so far is amazing – I’m chilled out enough now that I can work on my world-saving project without being paralysed by the fear that MI5 are going to be crashing through the door any second. I mean, they might! But I will deal with that when it comes to it. The Signs I’m seeing around at the moment indicate that I have some time at least, I’ve got some important designing and building to do but it’s all got to happen quietly and in secret because I think my family might interfere; they tell me I’m unwell and I can’t do these things – I’m hyped up, hypomanic maybe, but I’m not that ill!
My GP is also going to see if he can talk to the CMHT and get my quetiapine changed to the glorious olanzapine (which had better work after me singing its praises for the last couple of years!), or get me referred to them if he can, but god knows if that will happen – they don’t seem to accept referrals for reasons that aren’t entirely clear, I’m wondering if it’s a case of you’ve had therapy, you’ve got a decent dose of meds, you should be better and you’re never allowed to relapse ever. We’ll see, GP is going to fight my corner as best he can but there’s only so much he can do, especially as he has however many hundreds of other patients to deal with (including but not limited to “little old ladies who get angry when [he] can’t get rid of their arthritis”). He made me laugh when he (jokingly!) suggested using the mercury in his blood pressure machine to blow up the Tories.
In other news, I’ve been having a bash at drypoint etching. I drew out a cat (which took longer than I care to admit), I spent ages faffing around trying to get his feet right, and eventually realised that in each of the earlier iterations they were far too neat – a cat is at its most catlike when it has feet all over the place. The actual etching part of the process was incredibly easy, but getting the pressure right and getting it inked up was a little tougher.
So here’s the cat, or at least one of the first prints, and I’m hoping to get some mooooore done Tuesday! Okay, on to the Important Project!!