We Three Kings of Orient Are: A Parody

It’s time once again to post my bipolar rewrite of We Three Kings of Orient Are. Get ready to sing along – 3 – 2 – 1…

We three voices here in your car
One plus two, too many by far
But who’s counting? Screaming, shouting
“You’re crazy, oh yes you are.”

O meds not working, eyes shine bright,
Mood: psychotic, pure delight
All these feelings leave me reeling
Through the roof and into the night

Doctor says you’re not looking sane
Normality – you really can’t feign
Take meds forever, relapse never
Let’s fix your crazy brain

O meds not working, eyes shine bright,
Mood: psychotic, pure delight
All these feelings leave me reeling
Through the roof and into the night

Lithium to offer have I
Depakote and abilify
Lamotrigine, and haloperidol
I am so very high

O meds not working, eyes shine bright,
Mood: psychotic, pure delight
All these feelings leave me reeling
Through the roof and into the night

Death is mine in gathering gloom
Feel that sense of impending doom
Feel like dying, eternally crying
Needles above you loom

O meds not working, eyes shine bright,
Mood: psychotic, pure delight
All these feelings leave me reeling
Through the roof and into the night

I’m glorious now behold mood arise
I’m King and God and Sacrifice
Alleluia, Alleluia
Bow to me, hear your cries

O meds not working, eyes shine bright,
Mood: psychotic, pure delight
All these feelings leave me reeling
Through the roof and into the night

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Greta the Garish Reindeer

Every year, my sister and I get a new Christmas bauble to go on our tree.  Last year, my sister found a bauble that looks like it has a lacy stocking top around it – we dubbed it ‘Brothel Ball’.  Neither of us can say it with a straight face, our mum is torn between wanting to join in with the giggles and not approving and our dad is remaining deliberately and blissfully unaware.

Brothel Ball

This year, my sister is stuck in London until the 20th so she would miss out on the annual hunt for the perfect tree, the getting angry at each other in the process of finding the decorations that are lost somewhere in the depths of the loft, and of course, the actual decorating of the tree.  So we did all the tree bits without her, but I was charged with the task of improving on Brothel Ball.

This turned out to be impossible.  I look ALL OVER the internet (because, you know, going outside isn’t happening at the moment) and found nothing suitable – nowhere could I find that perfect something.  I decided I would make one, so (accompanied) I took a trip to Hobbycraft (yay!).  For only £10 and half a day of manic giggling amusement, I created this monstrosity.

Greta the Garish Reindeer

Greta the Green-Nosed (or Greta the Garish) Reindeer.  She’s about 20cm high.  Her sides feature glittery green pipe cleaner spelling out ‘Merry Xmas’, because ‘Christmas wouldn’t quite fit…  She has silver glitter… things… attached to her antlers, glittery sliver pipe cleaner feet, a Father Christmas beard and the green nose.  She’s papier mâchéd in red tissue paper using glitter glue.  She’s now been shoved unceremoniously into the tree.

I think I win this round Little Sister.