A Notebook

I got really ill in April; I got manic. I stayed that for a while, at some point during that, I started this blog. I mentioned in this post that my 73 page (actually 74 page) notebook was complete and I was ready.

I’ve scanned said notebook in and it can be downloaded here: A Study in Extremes

Trigger warnings for:

  • Suicide
  • Paranoia
  • Voices
  • Hallucinations
  • Possibly other things I’ve forgotten

Reading through this has reminded me that I really do need to calm down and stop being hypomanic in case this happens again.  This cannot happen again.  It took a good six month chunk out of my life last time and four or five the time before that.  It’s damaging, it’s not fair on me or anyone else.  It was scary, it was intoxicating, it felt like candy floss.

I was admitted the day after I finished this notebook and treated for mania and psychosis.  I repeat I never want to be in that place again.  I must remember this.